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005-12

posted Thu, May 7, 2015

005-12
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view keiiii's profile

7th May 2015, 3:44 PM

keiiii

And here we are, at the end of yet another chapter. Since I've posted an extra update yesterday, I'll be skipping Monday and come back with the beginning of Chapter 6 on Thursday (May 14th).

This scene has been a learning experience for me. It's a scene focusing on two characters that we don't really know yet, and I think that makes it difficult to really engage readers. While there IS that intrigue of "oooh, I wonder what they're up to?" the main reason it's interesting is because it's directly relevant to the characters that we already know: Hana, Danbi, and Ethan.

There is this other scene that I've been wrestling with. It would be in chapter 8 or 9 if it were to be included, but now I'm heavily leaning towards omitting it entirely. I've been unsure about it for a while, but couldn't put my finger on why. Now I know: "is this gonna be another scene focusing on characters that people don't know?" "Could this scene serve as a proper introduction to the characters, so people will come to care about them?" Yes to the first question, no to the second question.

What happens in that scene explains a couple of pretty important things, but I'll need to find another way of explaining that.

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view Zor15's profile

7th May 2015, 4:21 PM

Zor15

Does the symbol on Lushaka's forehead mean anything? Or it part of him being a tiger Rencho?

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view keiiii's profile

7th May 2015, 4:40 PM

keiiii

It's just his tiger stripes. :3

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view 40.oz's profile

7th May 2015, 4:33 PM

40.oz

Wow. Just wow.

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view keiiii's profile

7th May 2015, 4:41 PM

keiiii

Vague yet flattering... Thank you! :D

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view Tantz Aerine's profile

7th May 2015, 4:57 PM

Tantz Aerine

Your critters are so beautiful and still quite intimidating! :D

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view HeSerpenty's profile

7th May 2015, 6:10 PM

HeSerpenty

I am DEFinitely looking forward to reading more about these characters! And I'm intrigued on the correlation they have with Hana, Danbi, and Ethan! oooo I can't wait!

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view alston123's profile

7th May 2015, 8:08 PM

alston123

Wow. That was a very effective way to end the chapter. Introduce characters that will become important later if not sooner to keep the reader guessing. Very nice. ;D

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view keiiii's profile

10th May 2015, 3:33 AM

keiiii

Thanks! I totally forgot to upload a page (005-11) though. Gonna fix it soon and announce it when I upload 006-01. XD;;;

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view rufiangel's profile

7th May 2015, 10:08 PM

rufiangel

Great page! Really shows the conflict between two clearly strong personalities, and Lushaka is so obviously powerful in a calm way. Bewbs is gonna get pwned, I can feel it in my bones >_>

I think relevance to plot is always a good hook when introducing characters people don't know crops up as a scene. I think you did this scene admirably so I don't think it would be a problem for you to have people care about what you're portraying? I mean, getting people to care about the characters themselves is another issue entirely, of course...

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view melaredblu's profile

8th May 2015, 12:11 AM

melaredblu

I suppose it's probably out of the question that they maybe just want to take her to a tea party, right?

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view keiiii's profile

10th May 2015, 3:25 AM

keiiii

As someone said on another site: "psst, Hana, don't go to that tea party!"

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